First Day Without Mom

Good afternoon everyone, 

I went to bed at 5:40 AM Yesterday morning waking up at 8:30 AM and got on the ball contacting family and friends about mom, getting in touch with quite a few folks. My aunt Grace, cousin Frances, unacle Abraham and his wife Carmen all came to the house... and there were tears and laughter. My brother arrived with food that my aunt Hilary arranged for, so everyone ended up getting fed. My brother has done an amazing job in getting arrangements made for mom's funeral, and it's tentatively planned for Wednesday. The plan is to have mom cremated and to keep the ashes a the house, but first they need my signature to go ahead with the cremation of mom's remains.

Last night's stream, the first 3 hours were me just talking about my mom, my family, the day in general... I ended up giving a toast to mom with the beer she never got to drink. Ended up grabbing two boxes of VHS tapes, finding movies like DC Cab, Mystic Pizza and other films. 

Eventually we got around to playing a video game, namely Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, getting a few achievements in Grand Prix mode, plus taking a 2nd place finish in a match making race. So it ended up being a good night.

Big thank you to Iceman for the $50 donation and gifting Pandasweet a Tier 1 gift sub. He has been an awesome friend during all of this.

And thank you to everyone who was in the chat, either chatting or lurking during the whole night, and just allowing me to just talk about my mom.

For the raid, we dropped in on Oldish22 while they were playing Final Fantasy XIV over on twitch.tv/oldish22!

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed Achievements

• Arrow Of Light: Froze an opponent with Ice from at least 100 meters away
• Rank B: Earned your B Class License
• Genesis: Triple-Stunted while transforming into a car or boat
• Newtron: Manually selected a Random character for a Matchmaking game

I'll upload a few older stories from the Dice and Kristi era to my subscribstar before tonight's stream. We'll see how that goes, and I'll try and finished that WWE/NHL crossover commission request... but it's going to be an busy afternoon.

Found pictures of mom for the funeral... and my brother is picking me up to go visit one of our uncles.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Advanced Combo #2, Hook Combo #2, Left-Right Step Combo

Saw DaemonsW0lf playing the new Dead Space... and boy is that game a buggy mess. Ashame, because it looked like Dae was enjoying it.

"What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."

Song of the Day:Feel Like The First Time by Foreigner.

Not sure what's on the agenda for tonight's stream is since we didn't start Final Fantasy VII Remake, but we'll figure something out.

On that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden

My mom has passed away

Good morning everyone,

Last night a bit before midnight, my mother, Elizabeth Ortiz, passed away at 63 due to lung cancer. She was born December 3, 1959... and I would dare say she was the toughest, smartest person I've ever known. and I'm going to miss her a lot.  My brother came and got me at 1 AM and we spent several hours at  the hospital before we had  to go so they could take her to the morgue

Yesterday afternoon, I went to see her by the time I got to the hospital to visit mom, they had the iv drip already in place, so she was asleep when I got there... but she woke up, and was in and out of it... so she didn't say anything. Funny thing while I was there, the nurses came to clean her up and said earlier she didn't want to be move, but I told my mom to behave, and begrudgingly cooperated. My brother arrived around 1:30ish with his family, and I finally met his wife's mom... talk about bad circumstances. Mom did respond a bit when she was spoken too in Spanish, and smiled when she saw my brother's kids.

I did take advantage of getting some phone numbers from my mom's phone for a few family members, to try and update them on the situation... sent out text messages called a few folks... and I know my Aunt Grace and Cousin Frances will be swinging by the house later. 

The photo you see was taken Christmas day, and my mom is the middle, with the blanket... I got her that blanket for mother's day right in the middle of the Covid Pandemic, and regardless if she slept upstairs in her room, or just crashed on the couch or recliner, she always had it. It was mom's last Christmas....

The last day she was home was December 28th, she went for her 2nd day of Radiation Therapy, because she was intending to fight... but she never came back, She was was in so much pain she was admitted to the ER that afternoon. She was discharged to go to a nursing rehab facility a couple of weeks later, but last Monday the 16th, she was back in the ER and things just deteriorated from there rapidly

As for the stream last night, the new mission in Star Trek Online,The Fujiwhara Effect, brings to an end the ongoing story arc involving the Terran Empire. The ending of this mission hits me a little harder now considering everything involving the mirror versions of Wesley & Doctor Beverly Crusher. O really liked the mission as a whole but the ending just feels... different now.

We didn't stay with STO the entire time, we switched to Final Fantasy XIV after the break, and we did some raids and a few side quests. Two the raids ended up being of the Alliance variety, so those ate up a lot of time

Big thank you to lartheman88 for subscribing to my Twitch Channel using Twitch Prime

For the raid, we dropped in on Kalenal while they were also playing Final Fantasy XIV over at twitch.tv/kalenal

Stream Clip Links

• Ow... that did hurt...
• Where's the next one! 
• A Beautifully Timed LB3!
  

I got started on the next commission requests for a WWE / NHL crossover, and the intro gets the job done... going to have to use another 'time skip' to proceed to the heart of the story, but oh well.

At the time I'm writing this its nearly 5:30 AM... so no Fitness Boxing 2 notes for today.

"Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."

Song of the Day: Lay Me Down by Sam Smith ft. John Legend.

For tonight's stream the plan was to play Final Fantasy VII Remake on the PS4. As ya'll know I was not a fan of the original version of FF7... but I've seen enough people play the remake to think I might enjoy it...

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden but for now I'm going to bed.

The Night I Cried: My Twitch Community Is Awesome

Good morning everyone,

Saying yesterday was rough... is an understatement. At about 3:30 PM, I was in a telephone conference with my Aunt Hillary, my brother Leo and the care team for my mom at Cooper Hospital, where in no uncertain terms they basically laid out the fact that my mom's battle against Lung Cancer is going to require Hospice care. Considering my mom is only 63 years old... and we were reaching milestones to where she could start dialing back and taking it easy for her senior years... this is devastating. See... I had hope, and I still hope, that mom can fight this and make it back home. To live the life she worked for.

After the call, I called my dad, who lives out in the North Dakota... and we had the longest conversation we had in probably ten years or so. Granted we ended up talking about his replaying of the 1953 Baseball season using APBA Baseball for Windows. It certainly was the first breath of levity I needed, all things considered.

Then came time to for last night's broadcast... and for the first time, I cried on stream... and prior to last night, the only folks who have seen me cried was my brother a few weeks ago, and my aunt who came by to pick up some things. I've been open and honest with my viewers, as few as I have, regarding my mom's condition, and ya'll know I've posted updates here in this blog day after day. But last night I openly cried on stream... it's just surreal that i just... talked for an hour, talk about mom, what she means to me and all sorts of stuff... and opened up about a whole lot of things, my failures, and how we both expected things to be.

I want to thank everyone who was in the chat during that, ya'll are awesome for just letting me just talk, because it's not easy for me at all, and just vent like that, with no real judgement. Those in the chat, including new viewers were really kind. And once I started talking other stuff like the VHS tapes I've been finding thing started to get on track a bit.... which lead to me recalling the theme for Felix the Cat, of all things.

Now I've been broadcasting regularly on Twitch since January of 2017, and it has been the only thing I've done where I feel like I could actually be good at something, and while I may have a small community of folks that have stuck with me along the way, they are the best people that I know. It's why I say without question, my twitch community is awesome.

Now once we got into playing Fall Guys like maybe an hour into the stream (I kept saying we'd get to it but I wouldn't shut up lo)l, but when finally we did, I was joined by long time friends of the channel Felkimchi and PandaSweet for a run in the 'Squads' show... and somehow, some way, we won, with me being the last person standing. Talk about surreal. To have that moment was incredible.

Of course we also played Fallout 76, and Iceman joined me for that, and since he's gone through this sort of things, we ended up just talking during an extra final hour of the stream, in addition to our usual hi-jinks that ensured during our adventures in West Virginia.

Last night's stream will be preserved in an uncut state over on my YouTube channel, and I also segmented out the entire first 90 minutes to keep on Twitch as well. 

Stream Clips

• Round Over... WE WIN!!!!
• Just Crash Right Into The Sign 
• We're still here!
  

With everything going on, I barely managed to finish a short story commission based on things in WWE, and got another one to work on, but I'm going to have to delay writing it until probably Friday, because I intend to see my mom today. The person who requested said story understands.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Defensive Combo #1, Front-Back Step Combo and Uppercut Combo #2 for only 21 minutes. Woke up later than I intended.... sorry.

"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"

Song of the Day: Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

For tonight's stream the plan is to play Star Trek Online, which has a new episode out that sees the STO debute of Gates McFadden who played Dr. Beverly Crusher on TNG. In addition, we'll also play  Final Fantasy XIV, we'll do some side quests, maybe some raids and other things. We'll see.

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

Still Taking The Casual Approach To Saints Row

Good morning everyone,

Last night's stream of Saints Row was a lot of fun as I really focused on the ventures and side jobs for a good portion, with the big realization being that the ones for acquiring the cars was a lot more obvious than they were in other games. We did advance the plot a little in terms of quests associated with Eli, Kev and Neenah that advanced their sub stories and get to know more of what their characters are like in various situations.

Perhaps the highlight was the final mission we did that introduced the LARP aspect Saints Row, and it's a big reminder as to why I prefer Saints Row over Grand Theft Auto, which is how the series is not afraid to be silly and over the top in various ways. 

Something very apparent is that I'll hit Level 20, which is I think max level sometime during the next stream where I feature Saints Row (Monday), because of my focus on avoiding the main story. I just really like being able to take a casual approach to it, getting the most out of the game where I can set my own pace.

Big thanks to TheInsanityInc for resubscribing to my Twitch Channel for a 19th month! It's greatly appreciated! 

For the raid, we dropped in on TokuSHOUTsu, a channel that is always on and features things like Kamen Rider, Super Sentai, Ultraman and many other Japanese shows and movies courtesy of Shout! Factory TV! You can check the channel out at twitch.tv/TokuSHOUTsu!   

Saints Row Achievements

• Kitted Out: Fully upgraded a weapon.
• Shopping Spree: Bought 1 item from every store.
• Wrecking Ball: Killed an enemy with a towed object.

Stream Clip Links

• Coming Down!
• "Mess" 'Em Up! 
• Pew Pew Pew!
  

I couldn't reach my mom at all yesterday via her cell phone... and I had a pretty bad blow up as well with a lot of hits coming my way. I know I'm not alone, but I'm not the best at expressing myself. Doesn't help that the longer things go on, the more the fact that I'm failing on so many fronts is coming to light.

As a result, I didn't get any writing done at all yesterday in terms of the commission requests that I do have that helped cover some expenses and odds are that won't be the case today either. 

For anyone wanting to try Hello Fresh, use code POGHF64483 when you sign up at HelloFresh.com for a discount on 21 meals plus free shipping, or sign up via my affiliate link at https://strms.net/hellofresh_fredcasden!  

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Biceps Shape Focus Combo, Triple Combo #2, Intermediate Combo #1 and Defensive Combo #2 for 32 minutes

Also Fitness Boxing 2 had a surprised update, with a new instructor named Leo being added, which is funny to me because that's my brother's named. Other features added was the option to remove Blocking from the daily workout settings, the ability to customize the order of songs on the Song List and check the courses played on the Exercises Results Screen 

Also stepped on the scale, and my weight seems to be down around 238 to 240 pounds, so lets split the difference and call it 239

"Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."

Song of the Day: Bury A Friend by Billie Eilish

For tonight's stream the plan is to play Fall Guys and Fallout 76 as part of the usual Wednesday night double header. 

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

Finding More Stuff To Do In Saints Row '22

Good afternoon everyone,

Last night's stream of Saints Row certainly opened with my in a rough place, as I have some great fears concerning my mom's medical condition and how the hospital staff at Cooper Hospital is handling her, in particular with her having food, because she needs to be deemed strong enough for chemotherapy. If anyone would be kind enough to donate to her GoFundMe in her fight against Lung Cancer and other medical expenses, please visit: https://gofund.me/6adf8354

As far as the game play of Saints Row goes, we mostly stuck to exploring and finding side quests and things to through out the game, and it's amazing how much is actually locked behind game progression on different fronts. The Ventures portion in particular, because doing those was always things I try to knock out as quickly as possible on a Saints Row The Third or IV play-through. Still, it does seem like there is a ton that have to be unlocked. Didn't really advance the plot, but did a couple of missions associated with members of the Saints, the chasing after a retro fast food kid's meal toy was rather cute, and the one involving Neema's car certainly makes things more personal.  

We did end up going til close to midnight because of how side track I got whenever I see a collectable item or location on the in-game map. Tonight will be more of the same I bet.

Speaking of tonight's stream... it as well as last night's stream is / was sponsored by Hello Fresh! Use code POGHF64483 for 21 free meals plus free shipping at https://strms.net/hellofresh_fredcasden! 

For the raid we dropped in on Mystery Science Theater 3000 when the episode covering the movie 'Tormented'. The MST3K channel is on 24/7 over at twitch.tv/mst3k! 

Saints Row Achievements

• Finders Keepers: Obtained 5 items in the Collectibles app.
• Landlord: Placed a criminal venture.
• Hijacked: Pulled out of a car by a pedestrian.
• Work Ethic: Completed a criminal venture.

Stream Clip Links

• Wait what? We died?
• Threat Eliminated 
• When The Rag Dolling Is Done RIght
  

Yesterday's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout was shorter than intended, but it still felt good all the same. Today's workout featured Block Combo #1, Straight Combo #2, Difficult Challenge Combo #1 and Difficulty Challenge Combo #3 for 32 minutes

Despite all the stuff on my mind I managed to write one commission request yesterday afternoon based on title matches on WWE programming, and I have another commission request for another one. Can't complain, because these little stories have helped covered some bills.

"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."

Song of the Day: Fix You by Coldplay.

For tonight's stream, well, we're continuing Saints Row obviously, we'll probably knock out a set of quests associated with a Venture and find some more discoverable collectables before doing a story mission or two.

On that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

It's A Monday, Visited Mom

Good afternoon everyone,

Last night's stream of Overwatch 2 was a lot of fun, as I was focused on completing many of the daily and weekly challenges. Big thanks to both LvStrkr and PandaSweet for being apart of matches! Characters I used included Mei, Junkrat, Reinhardt, Bastion, Moira, Ana, D.va, Orisa and a couple of others, with a three plays of the game earned as Mei, Bastion and D.va!

Now during the stream, I did get a call from my mom, but I was not in a position to talk, since I was in the middle of a match at that point. She told me they have her doing some breathing exercises to help her strengthen her lungs, which makes sense considering she's mostly been on her back for the past month. 

I did went to see here this morning, when I got there she was just waking up and she was incredibly groggy. Her bed was locked to keep her head elevated at 30 degrees to keep her airways cleared, so when she asked for it to be raised, it had to be unlocked. When I left,  a respiratory therapist came by to for her to do some breathing exercises. 

If anyone would be kind enough to donate to her GoFundMe in her fight against Lung Cancer and other medical expenses, please visit: https://gofund.me/6adf8354

For the raid we dropped in on PowerThumbz during their 12th night of playing Prey over on twitch.tv/powerthumbz! 

Stream Clip Links

• And I got ran over too...
• Their Moira Is Low... 
• Hey everybody... CHILL!!!!
  

The Hello Fresh campaign is back, as the next several streams I do on twitch will be sponsored! Use Promo code POGHF64483 at hellofresh.com to get 21 Meals and free shipping!

The string of commission fics based on current WWE continues as the series featuring Triple H is going to have a 10th installment, which I plant to write today.

Also already have three subscribers to my subscribestar archive, which is pretty cool. I'll have to make sure to write some stories exclusive to it for them! In fact I have one based on the Addams Family.

On a silly note, some of the screenshots from the previous night's stream of Catherine got flagged on Tumblr... which gave me a little chuckle.Speaking of Catherine, the archive version of last night's stream won't be viewable in Japan because the entire big cut scene where the revelation about the Bartender being behind Vincent's dreams is restricted in that country. Weird.

I did make some changes to my settings for Fitness Boxing 2, so some days there may be 4 exercises or less, this why was in case I'm running late I can adjust things more easily. That said, today's routine included Hip Shape Focus Combo, Sway Back Combo and Difficulty Challenge Combo #2 for 24 minutes. I woke up later than I wanted.

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

Song of the Day: Cool Kids by Echosmith.

For tonight's stream, we are back to Saints Row '22, probably with a focus on exploring and side jobs first before advancing the plot.

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

Visited Mom Yesterday; Catherine's Final Towers Were Nuts!

Good morning everyone,

First off, obviously, I went and saw mom yesterday at the hospital, and funny thing, myself and my brother got there around the same time, not knowing the other would be there, so he and I had a nice chat when he came down from her room. (They only allow one person up at a time). When I went up, mom was asleep, because they had to sedate in order to have her be still when doing an MRI and other scans earlier in the morning. She woke up for a little bit but went right back to sleep. It was nice to see her. If anyone would be kind enough to donate to her GoFundMe in her fight against Lung Cancer and other medical expenses, please visit: https://gofund.me/6adf8354

Last night's stream of Catherine actually saw us finish the game, it did take 6 hours, because those final towers got pretty nutty and I ended up having to retry a lot of my attempts. I can't imagine how insane things are on the hardest difficulty settings for this game. I did enjoy me experience playing it, and the choose your own path aspect of the game really mattered as it related to the ending and the achievements that were earned.

As for the ending, I got the normal lovers ending, which sees Vincent and Katherine reunite and plan their eventual wedding. I'm sure there are guides on how to get all the possible endings, but for a first time play through, I can't pleased with the results.

Now would I play Catherine again... yes I would, but at the same time, I might want to eventually get Catherine: Full Body, which is the remastered and expanding version of the game, that introduces 'Rin, a third possible love interest for Vincent. That game I believe is only on the PS4, so tracking down a physical copy would be my preference. OF course.. with the Xbox 360 version that I played, it does have the achievements I could target on a second playthrough

For the raid we dropped in on MissCammi316 while they were playing Dead By Daylight over on twitch.tv/misscammi316!

Catherine Achievements

• What Time is It?: Conquer Stage 6.
• Path to the Altar: Conquer Stage 7.
• You Don't Have To Go Home...: Stay in the bar until all the other customers leave.
• Making Legends: Conquer Stage 8.
• One Last Case: Help Morgan clean up his mess.
•  Read All About It!: Get Justin out of his jam.
• A New Look: Help Todd out of his trouble.
• Mother Inferior: Help Archie work through his quandary.
• True Freedom!: Conquer Stage 9.
• Just Like Old Times: View the normal Lover ending.
• Welcome to the Colosseum: Unlock the Colosseum mode.

Stream Clip Links

• Aw crap...
• WOW! 
• We made it!
  

Had a couple of commission requests for WWE stories back to back, got one written yesterday and will work on the second one today, both basically focused around Triple H running things. I do feel I've been expanding a few things a bit to try and flesh out my fic writing process. Now if only it didn't take me 4 hours to write a 2000 word story lol.

Recorded a new tier-list video for the YouTube Channel, it's focused on Capcom Fighting Games, though the tierlists I found were not exactly a complete list of all the fighting games Capcom published. 

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Beginner COmbo #2, Advanced Combo #1, Uppercut Combo #1 and Intermediate COmbo #2 for 35 minutes.

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."

Song of the Day: Dark Red by Steve Lacy.

For tonight's stream, well you know what time it is, Overwatch 2 is on deck and I'll probably put in an effort on playing support because I haven't exactly gotten to play that role much in off-stream matches this week. 

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!