Today is mom's funeral...

 Good morning everyone,

This afternoon we're heading to mom's favorite church for her funeral... and to be honest with you all, part of me doesn't want to say goodbye. I know that sounds selfish, but can anyone blame me? I have been mulling over what I want to say... and a good portion of my thoughts result in song lyrics. But I'll do what I've done over the past several weeks and just speak from the heart. Either way, it's going to be a very tough afternoon.

On a funny note, I have lost a bit of weight around my waist line over the years and needed to find a belt, and my mom had one hanging on a coat stand in the living room. Once again, mom came through for me.

I do want to give special thanks to Mr. Theo Stanley Jr and the staff at Stanley's Memorial Chapel (stanleysmemorialchapel.com) for their kindness, compassion and professionalism in preparing mom's body for today on such notice. They've gone above and beyond what I would have anticipated, preparing gorgeous cards and even a beautiful sign in book.

A big plus from yesterday was that I heard from Elissa, and I haven't seen her since her wedding I want to say nearly 10 years ago. It's been a long while. It's great to touch base with family even under these circumstances.

Last night's stream of Saints Row mostly focused on side ventures, as completing all the areas within the in-game city is a big part of the fun when it comes to any Saints Row game. The big problem with the side ventures is that for each expansion, only certain types of missions are added, such as towing objects to a repo impound lot, racing against the clock to get vehicles to certain destinations or testing in-game gadgets to get access to them for normal use. That said, the casual approach I'm taking does work, as I can kind of space out the main story missions a lot more to avoid running out of things to do in-game in order to get the most content out of the game

For the raid we dropped in on TokuShoutSu while it was airing a marathon of Ultraman Ace over at twitch.tv/tokushoutsu

Saints Row Achievements

• Neighborly: Completed 5 districts in Santo Ileso.
• Optimized: Customized a weapon.
• Smooth Moves: Bought 2 Emotes.
• Power Players: Unlocked Criminal Empire Tier 3.

Did some writing on an exclusive story for my Subcribstar page yesterday based around Dragon Ball. Once that's finished, I'll be starting work on the next WWE commission request. 

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout was done before I went to bed last night, because I feared I wouldn't have time this morning. The exercises were Uppercut COmbo #1, Advanced Combo #1 and Hip Shape Focus Combo for 21 minutes.

"What did one wall say to the other?" "I'll meet you at the corner."

Song of the Day: Joy To The World by Three Dog Night

For tonight's stream... and I will be streaming, we're going to open with Fall Guys and also play Fallout 76... because after this afternoon, I'm going to need some silly things happening. We might even toss in some Ghostbusters Spirits Unleashed since that had a big update yesterday as well... or save that for Saturday's stream.

On that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

The Casual Approach To Saints Row is what works best

Good morning everyone,

Yesterday was an okay day overall my brother came over to get some things for mom's funeral, going through pictures I found with her in it. Today's going to be a little rough as I have to sign off of somethings pertaining to the funeral.

My cousin Frances pointed out that Lisa Loring who played Wednesday Addams in the 1960s Addams Family series passed away. Instantly remember the 1977 TV Pilot for a sequel series called The New Addams Family, which most people tend to forget about... despite that some of its plot was used for the first of the two Raul Julia films in the 90s!

Last night's stream of Saints Row saw me completing all the of Side Hustles, and having those off the board is huge, because it's one less thing to distract me. We found over 80 of the packets, and I think we have a good chunk of all the discoverable things covered, but there are still a lot to find. We also progressed the story to where we add additional ventures and to open up some smaller side-stories to grow the Saints empire. Also managed to unlock 100 different costume items, but I'm still struggling to find things to give The Boss a defined look as I did with Saints Row The Third and Saints Row IV

On tonight's stream I think I'll start with going after discoverable items that are on the map already and places a few ventures to start the overall cleanup of the game before doing the next story chapters. It's a plan right? Kind of... sorta...

Big thank you to Kalenal for the raid following their stream of Pokemon Scarlet over at twitch.tv/kalenal! I believe they said they were up to 354 on their PokeDex!

For our own raid, we dropped everyone off at PowerThumbZ while they were doing the Mooncrash DLC for Prey over at twitch.tv/powerthumbz! 

Saints Row Achievements

• Untouchable: Completed 10 Crimes of Opportunity.
• Always Be Hustling: Completed all Side Hustles.
• Took It to The Limit: Reach the maximum level.
• Closet Space: Own 100 different pieces of clothing.
• A Young Empire: Unlocked Criminal Empire Tier 2.

At this point I have 4250 Xbox Achieements for a Gamer Score of 98,687

Finally finished that one WWE / NHL short story commission request that I got before mom passed, and got a request for another WWE one based on the Royal Rumble this passed weekend which I did not watch. Also started writing a short story to be exclusives to my SubcribeStar page based on Dragon Ball. 

I did speak brief with my dad to get some clarification on some stories... and leads me to ask my Unlce Abraham about his mighty spoon, or probably not, if I forget about asking.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Waist Shape Focus Combo, Intermediate Combo #2 and Beginner Combo #2 for 21 minutes. You know... ever since last Friday I haven't really been motivated to workout.

"How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it."

Song of the Day: Everywhere – 2017 Remaster by Fleetwood Mac.

As detailed earlier, the plan for tonight's stream is more Saints Row! So we'll see you all over at twitch.tv/fredcasden this evening!

A Fun Sunday

Good afternoon everyone,

Yesterday started with me starting my vow of trying to speak one family member per day, and first up was my Aunt Maria up in Reading, and I was curious about a building I have a very vague memory of that I swear had RCA on it. Obviously this would've been from like 35 years ago, probably a little longer, but if it was anywhere it was probably in downtown reading.

Last night's stream was a lot of fun, as it was the usual with Overwatch 2... but then again... not so usual, as we were joined by the amazing BestiBunni for the first time ever! Now I've seen then play Overwatch 2 and they are super good in the Team Deathmatch Arcade mode, so when PandaSweet and BangBangBang joined, we ended up with a team of four, and we won the a lot more than we lost as a quartet. Later on in the night LvlStkr joined for a few matches in Quick Play, which was a blast.

As far as my own exploits go, I picked up three Plays of the Game, two as Junker Queen and one as Orisa, and used characters like Junkrat, Ana and Moira throughout the night... and as I type that sentence I realized I had a fourth play of the game as Moira that I didn't mark to save so that I could download it! DARN IT!

For the raid, we dropped in on PowerThumbZ just as they were finishing Prey, it took him 14 different broadcasts to accomplish that. He's a cool dude, check him out over on twitch.tv/powerthumbz!

Anyway, I got most of that commissioned NHL/WWE story done yesterday, just have a few details to add in to wrap it up.

The Eagles beat the Giants yesterday, and I didn't put the game on until my Uncle Abraham DM'ed me through Facebook... and once I saw the score, I instantly thought of mom and how she would stomp her foot up in the living room when the eagles would score... or screw up somehow. So I know she would've been elated! 

Did try to call my Aunt Rosa this morning to see how they were doing, got their voice mail. I'll see 'em Wednesday for sure.

I did get some clothes sorted for mom's funeral on Wednesday... going to wear a long sleeved black shirt she got me for my first a couple of years ago I never had an opportunity to wear.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Double Combo #2, Triple Combo #1, Weaving Combo #2 and Hook Combo #1 for 26 minutes

"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."

Song of the Day: Trumpets by Jason Derulo.

For tonight's stream, we are continuing Saints Row, with my usual casual approach by doing side quests and exploration to try and find things before advancing too much of the story. It's the best way to get the most out of some games.

On that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

A Day with Family, A Night Of Persona Dancing

Good afternoon everyone,

Yesterday, my brother, his nieces and I went to our Uncle Abraham's house for the first time, and it was a real treat. His wife Carmen, cooked up an incredible meal, pork chops, chicken, salad, rice & beans... it was incredibly tasty. But that wasn't all, we all  then went over to my Aunt Grace and Cousin Frances' new home as well! If I was smart I should've taken some family photos with everyone, but personally, I was really grateful to be reconnecting with everyone. If my Aunt Hilary could be considered in someone ways to be my big sister (at least according to her) then in some ways Frances is my little sister... hell when I was laying out some things about Dragon Ball Z Abridge she picked up where some of the jokes were going. All together this was a fun afternoon.

And if anyone is wondering, yes Carmen did make sure I left with a plate of that awesome food!

As if right now, the funeral for my mom is slated for Wednesday afternoon, that's going to be rough day for sure, I just know it, and I'm trying to brace myself for it.

Made it back home about 15 minutes before the stream, and so I decided to just play the Persona Dancing trilogy, and I spent a lot of time on Persona 5 Dancing In Starlight... which ended up meaning I couldn't do all the character dancers for Persona 4 Dancing All Night. Still, I did managed to see new high scores in both games plus Persona 3 Dancing in Moonlight, picked up a few King Crazys. Since it's been a while since I've played P3D and P4D, remembering the patterns at the speed I have them set at... so I ended up missing more notes than I would've liked.

For the raid, we dropped in on TokuSHOUTsu while it was broadcasting Shaolin Wooden Men as part of a marathon of dubbed martial arts films over at twitch.tv/tokushoutsu

Didn't get any writing done yesterday but I intend to today, because I do want to make the SubcribeStar page something to help supplement lean times. Also need to post several old stories to it as well this afternoon.

Did started doing a routine of just trying to speak to one family member a day, reaching my Aunt Maria first, did also want to reach my dad to ask about some stories I was told on Friday... but i guess he was asleep. 

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Body Hook Combo, Weaving Combo #1, Beginner Combo #1 and Straight Combo #1 for 26 minutes.

"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."

Song of the Day: I.F.L.Y. by Bazzi.

Tonight's stream will feature Overwatch 2, as we'll do out usual of kicking butt and taking names! 

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!

First Day Without Mom

Good afternoon everyone, 

I went to bed at 5:40 AM Yesterday morning waking up at 8:30 AM and got on the ball contacting family and friends about mom, getting in touch with quite a few folks. My aunt Grace, cousin Frances, unacle Abraham and his wife Carmen all came to the house... and there were tears and laughter. My brother arrived with food that my aunt Hilary arranged for, so everyone ended up getting fed. My brother has done an amazing job in getting arrangements made for mom's funeral, and it's tentatively planned for Wednesday. The plan is to have mom cremated and to keep the ashes a the house, but first they need my signature to go ahead with the cremation of mom's remains.

Last night's stream, the first 3 hours were me just talking about my mom, my family, the day in general... I ended up giving a toast to mom with the beer she never got to drink. Ended up grabbing two boxes of VHS tapes, finding movies like DC Cab, Mystic Pizza and other films. 

Eventually we got around to playing a video game, namely Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, getting a few achievements in Grand Prix mode, plus taking a 2nd place finish in a match making race. So it ended up being a good night.

Big thank you to Iceman for the $50 donation and gifting Pandasweet a Tier 1 gift sub. He has been an awesome friend during all of this.

And thank you to everyone who was in the chat, either chatting or lurking during the whole night, and just allowing me to just talk about my mom.

For the raid, we dropped in on Oldish22 while they were playing Final Fantasy XIV over on twitch.tv/oldish22!

Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed Achievements

• Arrow Of Light: Froze an opponent with Ice from at least 100 meters away
• Rank B: Earned your B Class License
• Genesis: Triple-Stunted while transforming into a car or boat
• Newtron: Manually selected a Random character for a Matchmaking game

I'll upload a few older stories from the Dice and Kristi era to my subscribstar before tonight's stream. We'll see how that goes, and I'll try and finished that WWE/NHL crossover commission request... but it's going to be an busy afternoon.

Found pictures of mom for the funeral... and my brother is picking me up to go visit one of our uncles.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Advanced Combo #2, Hook Combo #2, Left-Right Step Combo

Saw DaemonsW0lf playing the new Dead Space... and boy is that game a buggy mess. Ashame, because it looked like Dae was enjoying it.

"What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."

Song of the Day:Feel Like The First Time by Foreigner.

Not sure what's on the agenda for tonight's stream is since we didn't start Final Fantasy VII Remake, but we'll figure something out.

On that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden

My mom has passed away

Good morning everyone,

Last night a bit before midnight, my mother, Elizabeth Ortiz, passed away at 63 due to lung cancer. She was born December 3, 1959... and I would dare say she was the toughest, smartest person I've ever known. and I'm going to miss her a lot.  My brother came and got me at 1 AM and we spent several hours at  the hospital before we had  to go so they could take her to the morgue

Yesterday afternoon, I went to see her by the time I got to the hospital to visit mom, they had the iv drip already in place, so she was asleep when I got there... but she woke up, and was in and out of it... so she didn't say anything. Funny thing while I was there, the nurses came to clean her up and said earlier she didn't want to be move, but I told my mom to behave, and begrudgingly cooperated. My brother arrived around 1:30ish with his family, and I finally met his wife's mom... talk about bad circumstances. Mom did respond a bit when she was spoken too in Spanish, and smiled when she saw my brother's kids.

I did take advantage of getting some phone numbers from my mom's phone for a few family members, to try and update them on the situation... sent out text messages called a few folks... and I know my Aunt Grace and Cousin Frances will be swinging by the house later. 

The photo you see was taken Christmas day, and my mom is the middle, with the blanket... I got her that blanket for mother's day right in the middle of the Covid Pandemic, and regardless if she slept upstairs in her room, or just crashed on the couch or recliner, she always had it. It was mom's last Christmas....

The last day she was home was December 28th, she went for her 2nd day of Radiation Therapy, because she was intending to fight... but she never came back, She was was in so much pain she was admitted to the ER that afternoon. She was discharged to go to a nursing rehab facility a couple of weeks later, but last Monday the 16th, she was back in the ER and things just deteriorated from there rapidly

As for the stream last night, the new mission in Star Trek Online,The Fujiwhara Effect, brings to an end the ongoing story arc involving the Terran Empire. The ending of this mission hits me a little harder now considering everything involving the mirror versions of Wesley & Doctor Beverly Crusher. O really liked the mission as a whole but the ending just feels... different now.

We didn't stay with STO the entire time, we switched to Final Fantasy XIV after the break, and we did some raids and a few side quests. Two the raids ended up being of the Alliance variety, so those ate up a lot of time

Big thank you to lartheman88 for subscribing to my Twitch Channel using Twitch Prime

For the raid, we dropped in on Kalenal while they were also playing Final Fantasy XIV over at twitch.tv/kalenal

Stream Clip Links

• Ow... that did hurt...
• Where's the next one! 
• A Beautifully Timed LB3!
  

I got started on the next commission requests for a WWE / NHL crossover, and the intro gets the job done... going to have to use another 'time skip' to proceed to the heart of the story, but oh well.

At the time I'm writing this its nearly 5:30 AM... so no Fitness Boxing 2 notes for today.

"Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."

Song of the Day: Lay Me Down by Sam Smith ft. John Legend.

For tonight's stream the plan was to play Final Fantasy VII Remake on the PS4. As ya'll know I was not a fan of the original version of FF7... but I've seen enough people play the remake to think I might enjoy it...

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden but for now I'm going to bed.

The Night I Cried: My Twitch Community Is Awesome

Good morning everyone,

Saying yesterday was rough... is an understatement. At about 3:30 PM, I was in a telephone conference with my Aunt Hillary, my brother Leo and the care team for my mom at Cooper Hospital, where in no uncertain terms they basically laid out the fact that my mom's battle against Lung Cancer is going to require Hospice care. Considering my mom is only 63 years old... and we were reaching milestones to where she could start dialing back and taking it easy for her senior years... this is devastating. See... I had hope, and I still hope, that mom can fight this and make it back home. To live the life she worked for.

After the call, I called my dad, who lives out in the North Dakota... and we had the longest conversation we had in probably ten years or so. Granted we ended up talking about his replaying of the 1953 Baseball season using APBA Baseball for Windows. It certainly was the first breath of levity I needed, all things considered.

Then came time to for last night's broadcast... and for the first time, I cried on stream... and prior to last night, the only folks who have seen me cried was my brother a few weeks ago, and my aunt who came by to pick up some things. I've been open and honest with my viewers, as few as I have, regarding my mom's condition, and ya'll know I've posted updates here in this blog day after day. But last night I openly cried on stream... it's just surreal that i just... talked for an hour, talk about mom, what she means to me and all sorts of stuff... and opened up about a whole lot of things, my failures, and how we both expected things to be.

I want to thank everyone who was in the chat during that, ya'll are awesome for just letting me just talk, because it's not easy for me at all, and just vent like that, with no real judgement. Those in the chat, including new viewers were really kind. And once I started talking other stuff like the VHS tapes I've been finding thing started to get on track a bit.... which lead to me recalling the theme for Felix the Cat, of all things.

Now I've been broadcasting regularly on Twitch since January of 2017, and it has been the only thing I've done where I feel like I could actually be good at something, and while I may have a small community of folks that have stuck with me along the way, they are the best people that I know. It's why I say without question, my twitch community is awesome.

Now once we got into playing Fall Guys like maybe an hour into the stream (I kept saying we'd get to it but I wouldn't shut up lo)l, but when finally we did, I was joined by long time friends of the channel Felkimchi and PandaSweet for a run in the 'Squads' show... and somehow, some way, we won, with me being the last person standing. Talk about surreal. To have that moment was incredible.

Of course we also played Fallout 76, and Iceman joined me for that, and since he's gone through this sort of things, we ended up just talking during an extra final hour of the stream, in addition to our usual hi-jinks that ensured during our adventures in West Virginia.

Last night's stream will be preserved in an uncut state over on my YouTube channel, and I also segmented out the entire first 90 minutes to keep on Twitch as well. 

Stream Clips

• Round Over... WE WIN!!!!
• Just Crash Right Into The Sign 
• We're still here!
  

With everything going on, I barely managed to finish a short story commission based on things in WWE, and got another one to work on, but I'm going to have to delay writing it until probably Friday, because I intend to see my mom today. The person who requested said story understands.

Today's Fitness Boxing 2 daily workout featured Defensive Combo #1, Front-Back Step Combo and Uppercut Combo #2 for only 21 minutes. Woke up later than I intended.... sorry.

"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"

Song of the Day: Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

For tonight's stream the plan is to play Star Trek Online, which has a new episode out that sees the STO debute of Gates McFadden who played Dr. Beverly Crusher on TNG. In addition, we'll also play  Final Fantasy XIV, we'll do some side quests, maybe some raids and other things. We'll see.

So on that note we'll see you later over on twitch.tv/fredcasden!